So here I am sitting in front of my computer wondering what I am going to do with my life. I'm in my early 30's, Married with 2 kids, in college, and have NO CLUE. At first I wanted to work in social services, I thought it would be nice to help kids in foster homes, then I wanted to open my own bagel shop, I used to work in one and the town Im in could really use one, I am in the process of getting my degree in fine arts for photography... now I have the thought to write a book.**And since then, lol, have thought of changing my major to Acting or Dance. I love, love, love the theater... and I am such a drama queen, I believe that I would be rather great at it... I also love dance, however I do not know about teaching others....anywho**  Being bi-polar has got to be the Most confusing profession!!! Between the mood swings and the depressions you never really know what is going to happen from day to day. I am a little afraid to get a permanent job because usually that ends in me getting pissed off and quitting. Well I cant really do that with two kids now can I? They need some type of stable support, and I thank the heavens everyday for my husband, because he is that support.

I watched a movie last night 'Wonderlust'. Kinda of a bad ass movie. More of a chick-flick, but may appeal to some dudes, occasionally. Could be a good trip-flick, if you are into that sort of thing, me personally, I have enough trip'n going on inside my head I dont need to add any more. Sometimes I swear being bi-polar, is like being a cat that has been up for 12 hours and now is skat'n around the house like it is on crack mixed with acid. Anywho, Wonderlust... This couple that is from the city, loose their place and have to move in with a rather assholey in-law. Blah, blah, blah... long story short they get sucked into this hippie commune. Well they are all sitting around this 'Truth Circle' or basically Peyote Ritual... And the commune was challenging the relationship of the city couple... Well the problem boiled down to her not being able to commit to a career. This is how I feel. I put my whole self into things to hit one bump or twenty in the road and then give it up all together because, well, I guess it is not meant to be. You know, cause if things are meant to be... They Happen... Or do they... I know you cant just sit around thinking that the magic fairy is going to grant you career dust.... But when you actually work and try... and still nothing, does that mean it is time to move on? Is the next thing... your Thing?