Rollin on a writing high I think I will try to keep up with this blog too... I know, a bi-polar dream. Always wanting to get everything done... then BAM nothing gets touched for months.
SooOO I am starting to sabatage myself in school. I have been at it for so long I feel like there is no end in site, even though Im suppose to graduate this semester. I have been missing class, not turning in work. I just DGAF! My house has suffered my work has suffered and my family life has suffered because I want to have a better education.
I know, I know... all the more reason to stick with it and finish... my bi-polar gene is kick'n in hard, as it usually does when Im almost finished with something. Luckily I have an amazing husband who tells me when Im f*n up. Even though I despise being told I do anything wrong *Leo Pride* my Virgo man is quick to try to help me back on track. I recently did some research in the astrology area... and no damn wonder he and I butt heads all the time... we are opposites~ He is mustard, I am mayo... my son is ketchup and my daughter is plain. I guess that is why we all mess together so well. Just like the four signs Water, Air, Fire, Earth... one can not be with out the others.
Ok well that is my 10 min break.
Check ya later
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Okie Dokie Hokie Pokie
Whelp, quoted from bat shyt crazy Brit-Brit herself... 'Oops I've done it again..' only no hearts were played but my own. I have once again changed my major. I hope it works out this time. Social Services, it was my major before.... but this time I believe I am just going to focus on counseling. Lord knows I have been through enough screwed up shit to be able to at least tell people my story so that they can learn... Hey, Don't be a total fuck up... You'll end up trying to teach other fuck-ups not to fuck up...o.O
Annnd this is a draft that has been sitting here forever... because once again I put something off. Since then Ive moved... probably had another kid, hell I dunno...
Started a complete addition to subscription boxes. Which is probably where I will be spending most of my fingers.
Tah-tah-for-now...
Annnd this is a draft that has been sitting here forever... because once again I put something off. Since then Ive moved... probably had another kid, hell I dunno...
Started a complete addition to subscription boxes. Which is probably where I will be spending most of my fingers.
Tah-tah-for-now...
Sunday, December 9, 2012
So here I am sitting in front of my computer wondering what I am going to do with my life. I'm in my early 30's, Married with 2 kids, in college, and have NO CLUE. At first I wanted to work in social services, I thought it would be nice to help kids in foster homes, then I wanted to open my own bagel shop, I used to work in one and the town Im in could really use one, I am in the process of getting my degree in fine arts for photography... now I have the thought to write a book.**And since then, lol, have thought of changing my major to Acting or Dance. I love, love, love the theater... and I am such a drama queen, I believe that I would be rather great at it... I also love dance, however I do not know about teaching others....anywho** Being bi-polar has got to be the Most confusing profession!!! Between the mood swings and the depressions you never really know what is going to happen from day to day. I am a little afraid to get a permanent job because usually that ends in me getting pissed off and quitting. Well I cant really do that with two kids now can I? They need some type of stable support, and I thank the heavens everyday for my husband, because he is that support.
I watched a movie last night 'Wonderlust'. Kinda of a bad ass movie. More of a chick-flick, but may appeal to some dudes, occasionally. Could be a good trip-flick, if you are into that sort of thing, me personally, I have enough trip'n going on inside my head I dont need to add any more. Sometimes I swear being bi-polar, is like being a cat that has been up for 12 hours and now is skat'n around the house like it is on crack mixed with acid. Anywho, Wonderlust... This couple that is from the city, loose their place and have to move in with a rather assholey in-law. Blah, blah, blah... long story short they get sucked into this hippie commune. Well they are all sitting around this 'Truth Circle' or basically Peyote Ritual... And the commune was challenging the relationship of the city couple... Well the problem boiled down to her not being able to commit to a career. This is how I feel. I put my whole self into things to hit one bump or twenty in the road and then give it up all together because, well, I guess it is not meant to be. You know, cause if things are meant to be... They Happen... Or do they... I know you cant just sit around thinking that the magic fairy is going to grant you career dust.... But when you actually work and try... and still nothing, does that mean it is time to move on? Is the next thing... your Thing?
I watched a movie last night 'Wonderlust'. Kinda of a bad ass movie. More of a chick-flick, but may appeal to some dudes, occasionally. Could be a good trip-flick, if you are into that sort of thing, me personally, I have enough trip'n going on inside my head I dont need to add any more. Sometimes I swear being bi-polar, is like being a cat that has been up for 12 hours and now is skat'n around the house like it is on crack mixed with acid. Anywho, Wonderlust... This couple that is from the city, loose their place and have to move in with a rather assholey in-law. Blah, blah, blah... long story short they get sucked into this hippie commune. Well they are all sitting around this 'Truth Circle' or basically Peyote Ritual... And the commune was challenging the relationship of the city couple... Well the problem boiled down to her not being able to commit to a career. This is how I feel. I put my whole self into things to hit one bump or twenty in the road and then give it up all together because, well, I guess it is not meant to be. You know, cause if things are meant to be... They Happen... Or do they... I know you cant just sit around thinking that the magic fairy is going to grant you career dust.... But when you actually work and try... and still nothing, does that mean it is time to move on? Is the next thing... your Thing?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
How We Met: Our Love Story
So I guess in this post I will share a bit of how I got to where I am today. I was always a hoodlum, in trouble, goofing off, never serious. Until I decided to go to Trade School right before I turned to old to get in. I ended up spending right at 2 years there and had completed my trade *business tech* The trade school had even paid for me to go to my first semester in college... Well right about that time I had met this dude and got that all knowing wild bi-polar hair up my arse and up and left the whole state to go 1500 miles away to another state. Little did I know that my crush was not even close to being my 'soul mate' but did help me in finding my True Love.
In the time that I got here it was a LONG 2 years before we finally split up. I could sit here and call him all kinds of names and complain about all the crap we went through, but Hey I should really be thanking the guy... He is the one that lead me to my True Soul Mate :)
Actually it was only a week after we broke up, maybe it was almost two, I was at work *the gas station* and I was trying to get some assistance in paying my rent. I did not have a car so I was kind of freaking out on how I was going to get to the help place with out a ride. This random guy walks in the door and as usual I'm My all Peppy bi-polar happy self and I ask 'Hey How's it going' he says fine and returned the question. I answered with "I'm doing pretty good, but I'd be doing a lot better if I could borrow your car" ~I know totally random pick up line... But hey it worked lol~ He replied with 'I don't have a car, I have a truck and why what do you need it for.' So I explained my situation and he gladly agreed to come by after work and pick me up and take me where I needed to go. I called the lady and told her it would be a bit after 5 but I found a ride and she agreed to wait for me. Well 5:15 came along and ol' dude still hadn't showed up... SO of course with my bipolar attitude I was already cussing him out... lol He ended up showing up 5 minutes after I called the lady and told her I couldn't make it. He offered me a ride home *I only lived like 2 blocks from the store, I walked to and from everyday because it was close* We got to my house and I thanked him. Asked him if he wanted to hang out the next day, it was a Friday... He came over after work that next day and Never Left... :)
Now we have two beautiful kids, Our Daughter La-La*Im keeping their names private :)* is 2 and our Son *Mister~Mister* is 12 weeks. Not the most impressive love story, but Hey... so far it is a happy one :)
In the time that I got here it was a LONG 2 years before we finally split up. I could sit here and call him all kinds of names and complain about all the crap we went through, but Hey I should really be thanking the guy... He is the one that lead me to my True Soul Mate :)
Actually it was only a week after we broke up, maybe it was almost two, I was at work *the gas station* and I was trying to get some assistance in paying my rent. I did not have a car so I was kind of freaking out on how I was going to get to the help place with out a ride. This random guy walks in the door and as usual I'm My all Peppy bi-polar happy self and I ask 'Hey How's it going' he says fine and returned the question. I answered with "I'm doing pretty good, but I'd be doing a lot better if I could borrow your car" ~I know totally random pick up line... But hey it worked lol~ He replied with 'I don't have a car, I have a truck and why what do you need it for.' So I explained my situation and he gladly agreed to come by after work and pick me up and take me where I needed to go. I called the lady and told her it would be a bit after 5 but I found a ride and she agreed to wait for me. Well 5:15 came along and ol' dude still hadn't showed up... SO of course with my bipolar attitude I was already cussing him out... lol He ended up showing up 5 minutes after I called the lady and told her I couldn't make it. He offered me a ride home *I only lived like 2 blocks from the store, I walked to and from everyday because it was close* We got to my house and I thanked him. Asked him if he wanted to hang out the next day, it was a Friday... He came over after work that next day and Never Left... :)
Now we have two beautiful kids, Our Daughter La-La*Im keeping their names private :)* is 2 and our Son *Mister~Mister* is 12 weeks. Not the most impressive love story, but Hey... so far it is a happy one :)
To B*tch or Not to B*tch, That is the Question
I thought about creating this blog around 6 months ago, but like any other bi-polar moment it got put off. That and the fact that I was around 6 month preggo I had a few other things on my mind. Well now I have found that the title that I wanted to use has been snatched up by another and I had to change it up a bit.
I am not a big writer, but I have recently found a passion for it I never knew I had. Also, I find that it is a bit comforting when I am in a fit of rage and need to get some things off my chest. This is also way better than screaming at some random cashier for moving to slow when I am waiting in a line that seems to be a thousand feet long and going slower than a snail.
I have chosen not to medicate for my bi-polar... I have found that I seem to like my different types of personalities. Although a few of them are at times unnecessary they are all still me. I have learned to appreciate the swings I have, because when it comes down to it, at least I express myself. I have been asked "Don't you care that you hurt people's feelings?" And I generally respond with a "Well they already knew I was bi-polar... So I am thinking, Why do they poke the bear and wonder why they get mauled"
There are times when I deeply regret going all manic on some people then there are times I think, That douche deserved it. I have no problem in standing up for what I believe. Especially if I think someone is trying to take advantage of someone else. It kills me to see people I care about getting ripped off. This reminds me of a story i'd like to share:
One of my friends had just moved into a new home and the electric company that she was using gladly took her deposit and all was marry. Well apparently If someone else decides to take out electricity in their name under the same address... the previous owner's electricity gets shut off. Well this happened to my friend. They turned her electricity off because someone apparently gave the wrong address and even though it was not her mistake she was going to have to Re-pay the deposit to get it turned back on. She was just going to pay it to avoid the fuss~ I had to tell her to do something about it. She was just going to let it slide... Luckily she had paid with a credit card and not cash so there was a paper trail showing that she had already paid it and got the issue resolved.
What the heck, are people crazy enough to just deal with crap like this. I mean there is a fine line between avoiding drama and just letting people walk all over you. I would have been raising holy hell about all that. I know there is suppose to be a time and a place for everything, but seriously, When is that time? When you have shoe prints all over your forehead or before the foot lands on your face?
Anywho it is dinner time and I've gotta run.
Until next time :)
ToeJam
I am not a big writer, but I have recently found a passion for it I never knew I had. Also, I find that it is a bit comforting when I am in a fit of rage and need to get some things off my chest. This is also way better than screaming at some random cashier for moving to slow when I am waiting in a line that seems to be a thousand feet long and going slower than a snail.
I have chosen not to medicate for my bi-polar... I have found that I seem to like my different types of personalities. Although a few of them are at times unnecessary they are all still me. I have learned to appreciate the swings I have, because when it comes down to it, at least I express myself. I have been asked "Don't you care that you hurt people's feelings?" And I generally respond with a "Well they already knew I was bi-polar... So I am thinking, Why do they poke the bear and wonder why they get mauled"
There are times when I deeply regret going all manic on some people then there are times I think, That douche deserved it. I have no problem in standing up for what I believe. Especially if I think someone is trying to take advantage of someone else. It kills me to see people I care about getting ripped off. This reminds me of a story i'd like to share:
One of my friends had just moved into a new home and the electric company that she was using gladly took her deposit and all was marry. Well apparently If someone else decides to take out electricity in their name under the same address... the previous owner's electricity gets shut off. Well this happened to my friend. They turned her electricity off because someone apparently gave the wrong address and even though it was not her mistake she was going to have to Re-pay the deposit to get it turned back on. She was just going to pay it to avoid the fuss~ I had to tell her to do something about it. She was just going to let it slide... Luckily she had paid with a credit card and not cash so there was a paper trail showing that she had already paid it and got the issue resolved.
What the heck, are people crazy enough to just deal with crap like this. I mean there is a fine line between avoiding drama and just letting people walk all over you. I would have been raising holy hell about all that. I know there is suppose to be a time and a place for everything, but seriously, When is that time? When you have shoe prints all over your forehead or before the foot lands on your face?
Anywho it is dinner time and I've gotta run.
Until next time :)
ToeJam
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